Loving compassion is the practice of caring for others despite their flaws and the negative things they may do or say. But sometimes, people go above and beyond what you can allow from them. How do we remain compassionate, but keep ourselves from being exploited because of our caring nature?
One of the core ideas I teach is that compassion is one of the keys to happiness. Loving yourself, loving those you know, and loving those you do not is a core belief of mine. Everyone from your significant other to the guy who cut you off in rush hour traffic is deserving of your loving compassion towards them.
I talk about how you have to allow people to do what they desire and what they think is right. You can’t control them, but you can love and support them despite your differing opinions.
However, I have seen people notice my constant forgiveness and unending love, and seek to use that to their own ends. Whether that be to take part in behavior I don’t think is okay (such as cheating, manipulation or general malice) or to outright lie to me in order to keep me from fully understanding a situation, I can’t be a part of that. I can no longer stand back and offer compassion unending, but instead have to put my foot down and take steps to remove myself from a relationship with someone acting this way.
But doesn’t that mean you’re being cruel and uncompassionate by not letting people do as they will?
I get why you might think that telling someone too bad so sad might not be the most compassionate thing to do. But by allowing someone to manipulate you, cheat on you, and lie to you, you are neglecting to set up boundaries that keep you from emotional, physical, and spiritual harm.
So telling someone no, you will not accept this behavior no matter how kind you may be is actually being compassionate towards yourself. Taking care of yourself is extremely important.
Acting “selfish” from time to time is not a BAD thing. You have to protect and honor yourself so you can continue to thrive as a beautiful, energetic being of love. Never apologize for loving yourself!