Is this confidence or is this just my ego talking? This is a question many people on a spiritual path generally ask themselves more often than we like to admit. Is ego something you struggle with, too?
What is ego? Ego refers to the facade we present to others. The ego is the person that we wish we were, or the person that we think the people around us want us to be. It is the “I” that differentiates you from the whole of Universal Consciousness and from other people.
In this world, ego is highly supported by media and commercialization, so naturally from a young age, we both possess and feed an ego. We want a feeling of being independent, special, and different than everyone else; and this is what we are taught we should desire.
Think about it; how often do you see commercials like this?
Do you not feel confident in your looks? Here’s some makeup to cover that scar! Are you shorter than you would like? Here’s some heels to boost your height! Do you feel like you’re not good enough? Change how you look and present yourself as better than everyone else!
Finally, broken down by societal norms and expectations, as well as a desire to fit in by being different, we begin to feed our ego. And over time, as we lie to others to make them believe we are better than we actually are, we tend to believe in our own lies. Of course we have flawless skin! Of course we’re tall like the models in every magazine! Of course we’re good enough for the “haters;” in fact, we’re better than them!
It feels amazing to live in this egotistical mindset… or does it? At the end of the day, when we remove the makeup, take off our heels, and look at our naked and totally normal selves in the mirror, what do we see? Just our plain old and imperfect selves. How upsetting is it to remember that it was a facade all it was all along?
Spiritual people are not immune to this.
When you find that you have psychic gifts and begin to use them efficiently, it can be extremely empowering. How exciting to finally be living true to your nature! However, there’s a fine line between being confident in your ability, and be arrogant about it.
What is that line?
Personally, I find the line sits somewhere between confidence and overselling yourself. If you’re telling others about what you were able to do, such as an accurate prediction of things to come, great! And if you’re letting a client know what you’re capable of providing for them skill-wise, such as a thorough Reiki session, awesome!
The problem lies in overselling yourself. When you are using your gifts confidently, it can be easy to overextend what you can actually do and believe yourself capable of doing more. “I could probably try that” quickly turns into “I can definitely manage that!” Soon, we’re simply blowing smoke up our own asses and expecting others to do the same, all while secretly hoping no one calls us out on our lack of follow through.
Confidence means living in a state where we know what we are, and we are happy being that. We know our skill set and we are also knowledgeable about our boundaries and the extent of our abilities. Letting ego take over results in overstating our ability and possibly failing our clients, and ultimately ourselves.
“The ego is not a thing. The ego is a circular pattern of thinking.” -Adyashanti